Toxic
by AMKelley
Summary: Piers tells himself that this is for the best… For both of them. Piers tells himself that, by doing this, it will knock them out of this vicious cycle of codependency on alcohol and quick, sloppy affairs. But that's a lie… *implied domestic abuse, alcoholism, ifidelity, unhealthy relationships*


"You've been gone long," Chris' gruff voice drifts over to where Piers is attempting to close the door as quietly as possible. Chris stands in the hall with his arms crossed and he doesn't look amused. "Where have you been?"

" _Out_ ," Piers tells him vaguely, which was the understatement of the year. His expression was neutral and hid nothing. It was the moment of pure honesty.

For a while now, Piers has been having an affair with Jake Muller, the man Chris despised so much, and wasn't exactly very conspicuous about it. Actually, Piers was surprised it took Chris this long to put two and two together, to be honest.

"How long have you been sneaking behind my back?" Chris asks a little firmly this time, stepping out of the shadows.

Piers just chuckles and shakes his head ruefully, letting his head drop back against the front door.

"Why don't you ask one of your sources since you're so keen on the subject?" Piers snaps as he tries to push past Chris but Chris grips his right bicep tight enough to stop him in his tracks.

"So you're not denying it?" Chris interrogates, pulling Piers in close to instill fear through his hard gaze but it does nothing.

"You obviously know the truth so denying it would be redundant. Now let go of me," Piers mutters as he yanks his arm free from Chris' death grip.

Piers gets past Chris this time and marches straight to the kitchen to get some water. Piers grabs a glass and fills it up with tap water, gulping down a good portion of it as Chris barges in. Piers jumps a little at this, mostly because he's rattled with adrenaline and he half expects Chris to actually hit him. It certainly wouldn't be the first time, either... He takes another drink and sets down the glass firmly on the countertop before facing Chris.

"We're going to talk about this," Chris declares sternly, clenching his jaw to restrain himself from doing something he'll regret. "Not tomorrow or next week, but now!"

"There's nothing to talk about. I cheated on you and fucked someone else," Piers says nonchalantly like it isn't a serious matter, because in his mind it isn't. "It's pretty straight forward on where we go from there."

"How can you talk about it so off-handedly?" Chris demands, baffled at Piers' lack of remorse for his actions. "At least show some damn sympathy like you give a shit!"

"Oh, don't talk to me about sympathy..." Piers warns, shaking his head as he approaches Chris slowly. "You're hardly the gold medalist yourself."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you're just as spineless as me."

"I'm not a cheater," Chris states taking a step closer to Piers as if advancing on his prey.

They're both towards the middle of the kitchen, much closer to each other, but at least arms length apart from one another. Being this bold and reckless certainly is a new feat for Piers and it makes his body come to life with nerve endings he never knew he had. And the way Chris glares at him is too maddening to tear his eyes away from.

"You're not exactly lover of the year either," Piers taunts carefully, making sure every word rings clear to Chris and Piers can see the flicker of anger flash through those brown eyes.

"Well, at least I'm not some cheap whore that hops on the first cock it sees," Chris degrades harshly, and it's the most rotten and vile thing he's ever said to Piers but it doesn't reach the younger man.

"Your insults would hurt more if you were actually sober," Piers huffs knowingly with a chuckle. He can practically smell the booze on his breath from here.

When Chris' alcoholism was really bad, and even if Piers hadn't done anything particularly bad, he'd sometimes go on a mean streak and lash out with physical violence. Piers knew Chris wasn't a _bad_ person, but he wasn't a saint either.

"Why? Why would you do this?" Chris asks disregarding Piers' remark. Chris is at a loss for reasons behind Piers' infidelity and he's just trying to wrap his head around it.

"Because you weren't there when I needed you the most," Piers says coldly. "I stuck by you through thick and thin in Edonia and even when you were out of control in Lanshiang."

"You know why I left after Edonia..."

"That doesn't explain why you weren't there when I was in quarantine."

"I've been dealing with things," Chris tells him in that familiar _I don't want to talk about it_ tone.

"Right, because the _only_ person with issues is Chris Redfield. Everyone else is living a carefree existence but not Chris," Piers mocks over dramatically, flailing his arms about. "Chris has problems of the utmost importance. We better stop what we're doing and put him above the rest of us."

"You're so cruel," Chris says in a tone that suggests he's been mortally wounded. It all just sort've sinks in as Chris comes to this realization. "Why are you so cruel?"

"You think that's cruel? You're a fucking coward!" Piers spat distastefully and it shatters his self control. "All you're good at is running and hiding from your problems. And I'm just another one of your problems. Admit it, the reason you've been avoiding me is because you're afraid of me!"

"I care about you. I love you-" Chris begins to say but is cut off by Piers.

"You don't care about anything until it's threatened to be taken away from you. You can't stand losing. I hardly existed until just now."

"That's not true," Chris denies, shaking his head and on the verge of tears. He wants what Piers is saying to be a lie but the overwhelming guilt is too much to bear.

"What, you couldn't stand being around the monster? Was I really that repulsive to you?" Piers pleads, desperately seeking answers and receiving none. "You can't even touch me. And when you do, it's either to grab me or hit me. You don't neglect people you care about and you certainly don't hit someone you love,"

Chris turns his face away in shame because he doesn't want to face the music. Those were mistakes. He never intended to hurt Piers, then again Chris never intended for a lot of things.

"What do you want me to do, huh?" Chris inquires, stepping into Piers' personal space and backing him up against the kitchen table. "You want me to take you right here? Bend you over this table and fuck you until you can't walk straight?"

Chris places his hands on either side of Piers on the table to bracket him between the wooden surface and his muscular body. He can see Piers flush at the suggestion and even though Chris is very aware that Piers has just cheated on him he can't help but feel empowered right now, standing over Piers dominantly.

"Is that what you want?"

Yes… In some off-handed, arbitrary way, Piers would like that very much. It would be the most sex they've had in months, excluding oral sex, and being fucked senseless could really help Piers to cope with the catastrophe that has unfolded. It would help him forget, if only for a moment, that their relationship is an absolute trainwreck and toxic to Chris' health and Piers' overall safety.

But Piers can see past the whole charade and how Chris is trying to change the subject. He almost wants to give into the temptation of Chris but he refrains from it. No, he can't let Chris win this. Chris had his chance for months now and it was too little too late to make up for it now. Piers pushes Chris away and it takes all he has to bite down and swallow his heart.

"All I ever wanted was you, you _jerk_!" Piers exclaims with tears in his eyes.

Piers storms out of the kitchen before he can do anything irrational and Chris takes this action as a defeat on Piers' part, but it's far from it. Chris goes after Piers to follow him down the hall that leads to their bedroom. When Chris gets to the room Piers is already packing a bag to leave and stay the night elsewhere. Most likely with his new lover.

Chris watches with panic as Piers yanks open dressers and stuffs random articles of his clothing into and overnight duffle bag. It's so surreal that it can't be happening, but it is, and Chris has no idea what to do about it. This is obviously all his fault in Piers' mind no matter what he argues but Chris doesn't know how to undo it all.

"What are you doing?" Chris asks with worry, afraid of what it all means.

"Isn't it obvious?" Piers ridicules, trying to ignore Chris as he packs up what he needs. After a moment or two of silence Piers stops packing and turns his head to one side as if acknowledging Chris without turning around. "I'm leaving you Chris and I'm going to be with Jake."

"Muller?" Chris questions skeptically, heat and anger rising up in his cheeks at the thought of Albert Wesker's son stealing Piers away from him.

"He was the only person to come and see me while I was recovering. Did you know that?" Piers asks rhetorically, reminiscing of those agonizing days and nights that were made a little less lonely for him because of Jake. "I suppose you wouldn't, because you were never there. Funny to imagine that after all that was said and done he was able to find the decency to visit me. The last person I'd suspect ended up being the only one to stand by my side."

Piers closes his eyes and hangs his head to the ground as the clarity of saying it out loud washes over him in the most bittersweet way. He hurts all over and inside as well because he still loves Chris. He'll love Chris until the day he dies and he hates himself for that. He hates the way it makes him feel and he hates the way Chris has influence over him.

"So that's it? You're just ready to leave me like that for some low-life mercenary?" Chris asks, voice cracking ever so slightly when Piers finishes packing his temporary duffle bag and turns to face him. "Like you never cared about me?"

"I _saved_ you! I nearly sacrificed myself for you!" Piers exclaims, sobbing because he can no longer hold back the anger and other conflicting emotions. He is furious by Chris' assumption. "How can you say I never cared, you selfish prick!?"

Him and Chris were _toxic_ for each other and if Piers stays things will only get worse. Piers knows that by staying it will only inhibit Chris to treat him poorly like he has in the past and Piers really doesn't want to feed into his addiction. Piers tells himself that this is for the best… For both of them. Piers tells himself that, by doing this, it will knock them out of this vicious cycle of codependency on alcohol and quick, sloppy affairs. But that's a lie… because some people never change.

"Piers, please! I'm so sorry!" Chris begs as the younger man walks out on him. He reaches for Piers' arm but the marksman cringes away from it in order to get his point across that he doesn't want to be touched. That it's too late. "I love you, Piers."

Piers stops at the door and stills his hand on the doorknob as he interprets Chris' words as his final goodbye. He knows Chris loves him despite all the fucked up shit that's happened between them and he wants to cave, but it's too late to say sorry and Piers has already made up his mind. Piers wants to be with someone who will appreciate and always be there for him, not when it's convenient. Piers sets down his bag and walks over to the man he used to call his lover.

"I know," Piers acknowledges, kissing Chris one last time. "I know…"

Somehow that makes it less painful to say goodbye.


End file.
